I just feel like writing

I haven't written much in a LONG time.  Kind of crazy how the days still seem really slow, but the weeks and months seem to be flying by.  I can't believe my babies are almost 5.  It just doesn't seem real!  Both are doing great in their own way.  We are finishing up pre-K at UT Lab school.  The goal for Annabelle according to her teacher, was for her to become a benevolent leader as opposed to a dictator.  At the spring conference, her teacher said she had succeeded.  So, we will go with that!  She has a strong personality and is a leader.  She talks A LOT and seems to have conversations that are way too advanced for a  year old.  She loves reading and drawing and writing.  It will be fun to see how she ends up!  Jack's goal was to be able to play successfully with other kiddos.  And, he is able to do that.  He has done great at school, and though a shadow goes with him, he has really increased his interactions and play skills with other children.  He is talking so much more than he was.  He is still behind and other kids have a difficult time understanding him.  But, he certainly get what he wants!

Happy Belated 4th Birthday!

Wow!  My babies are 4 years old!  I really do not seem to write down much these days and I know that is not smart, because they do and say so many fun things, there is no way I can remember them all.

Annabelle - you are an amazing child!  You are creative, vibrant, full of energy, and seem to love life.  Your imagination is fantastic!  You love to play imagination games, such as "school" with daddy and taking your animals on a "camp out".  You are always having a birthday party for one of your animals, typically it is Lovey.  You still sleep and snuggle with Lovey, which is pretty adorable.  Your language and social skills are really ahead of the curve.  You ask very interesting questions, have pretty significant conversations, and remember everything.  It is fun to see you play with your friends, because you have really turned into a little person.  You have friends at school and in the neighborhood.  You really enjoy watching the ipad or sesame street, but do not get to do it often - maybe a couple times a week.  You love having books read to you and can listen to some pretty long books without many pictures.  I imagine we read at least 10 books a day. You also have started reading yourself.  For many months, you have been asking how to spell things and what certain words you see spell.  We started reading the BOB books and you are doing well and beginning to read.  You are also getting interested in math and do some simple addition problems.  I feel like you are not old enough for this, but you seem to love it.  You are also pretty good at writing your name and most of the letters.  Occasionally, you get frustrated because it does not look quite right, but for the most part, you can write all of your letters.  You really enjoy art projects.  Grandjan and Grandpa gave you Kiwi Crate for a year and that has been fun to have monthly projects to work on.  Between stickers and painting and drawing and glitter glue, you are a pretty happy girl!  This year, you played on the city soccer team.  Our friends, Wesley, Amanda, and Holden were on the team with us.  You did not really enjoy soccer, or at least you did not appear to, since you never kicked the ball, but you have asked to play again.  So, we will see!  You have been going to physical therapy once or twice a week since the fall.  You think it is fun, which is the primary reason you go.  Let's see... you are an amazing eater.  At your 4 year old well child check, the doctor asked you your favorite green vegetable and you said collard greens.  She was very impressed!  You love daddy's BBQ, quesadillas, fruit, salad, almost all veggies, and the list really goes on.  You are not a big fan of sweet potatoes, but I cannot think of anything else that you do not like.  It is awesome!  For the school year, you went to Tiny Tots on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and then Yoga Peace School on Wednesday mornings.  This summer, you went to yoga camp, and are now doing Wee Warhols art camp, and will do Nature and Science camp at Zilker and an acting camp with Amanda.  It is fun and you seem to enjoy being active!  You started taking violin lessons last fall and it has been fun and challenging.  You can almost play Twinkle, which is very exciting.  You were healthy all year and I do not think we had any visits to the doctor.  You had your first dentist appointment October 21, 2013 and are due for another one next week.  It went well.  You still take a nap most of the time and will sleep for a couple hours.  However, in September, you will have school in the afternoon, so you won't be able to nap anymore.  We will figure it out.  For now, you typically go to bed between 7:30-8 and then wake up between 6:30-7.  It isn't too bad!  You just recently got rid of your night time diapers, which is super exciting for mommy and daddy.  We also have gotten rid of your crib and you are sleeping on the trundle bed.  We are thinking about bunk beds... You are very loving and clearly love your mom, dad, and brother.  It is fun to see!  We love you!

Jack -  you are an amazing child and have been working so hard!  You are now talking and have been for a while.  It is almost hard to imagine what it was like before you were talking.  We are so proud of you!  You speak in sentences and are able to express what you want and what you do not like.  You are able to ask some questions, as well as answer tons of questions.  Finally, after a lot of work, we have colors mastered!  It happened months ago and now you are able to use colors to describe things are you are talking.  You also know shapes and letters and numbers and the list goes on and on.  You have come so far!  You work really hard.  You go to speech 4 times a week and OT 1 or 2 times a week.  The OT started in February.  We are also still working with the girls and doing the ABA.  I think you work harder than most grown adults and sometimes it breaks my heart.  However, you seem to enjoy it for the most part and ask to go to the "classroom" or to speech.  Over the last school year, you went with Annabelle to Tiny Tots.  You loved it and did so well!  This summer, you went to art camp, which you also loved and then science and nature camp at Zilker.  Both camps were with Annabelle and you loved them.  I think your favorite place to be is outside!  We have also been going to the Horse Boy Farm over the past year.  Sometimes we go every week and other times we just go once a month or so.  You love being out there and hiking in the woods.  You have also been riding the horses and seem to enjoy it.  You played soccer with Annabelle, but did not seem to be in to it, so we will see if we try again or just wait.  You are very musical (and go to music therapy off and on) and like to sing and play various instruments.  You are happy to watch people playing music or listen to music as well.  You are a pretty good eater and eat a wide variety of foods.  You love daddy's BBQ, fruit, cucumbers, and treats like cookies and cupcakes.    You have been relatively healthy all year, which is great!  You had your first dentist appointment on October 21, 2013 and then another one in the summer.  Teeth are great and you cooperated so well... You have not napped in a long long time.  Typically, you are ready for bed between 7 and 7:30 and then wake up around 6:30 or 7.  It seems like you sleep pretty well most of the time, although occasionally you sound like you are having a party in the middle of the night.  You have been sleeping in a twin bed for months and months as well and your crib is gone.  You are very affectionate and I love when you say, "Mommy, come play with me" or "Daddy, come play with me."  Those phrases melt us both... You have friends that come over for playdates, including Mason, Julian, and Jackson.  We have also had art class with Hannah, Molly, and Nathan, for the past 8 months or so.  Jack, you are a sweet and affectionate kid who loves nature and is curious about the world.  You love your mom, dad, and sister and we enjoy watching you grow.  We love you!

I have to write more...

I have to figure out a way to write more for at least two reasons.  The first one is for my mental health.  The second one is to keep track and record all of the things that are happening in my babies' lives.  My babies who are no longer babies.  They are three years old.  Some of that time went by really slowly, but I also went by super fast - all at the same time.  I am not sure my mental health is up for writing, so we will just got with an update on the kiddos...

Jack is doing great!  He is now using 4 and 5 words on his own.  It is AMAZING!  He is talking!  I am so, so, so happy for him and hope he continues to make progress this way.  We are going to speech therapy four days a week.  We go to MLee, where the therapists are trained in PROMPT.  We usually see Marcus and once a week see Ashley.  Jack seems to enjoy it and every morning asks to get in the car and go see Marcus.  Something is working!  He is doing well in his ABA programs.  My favorite one is teaching him and Annabelle to play chase together.  They have their own form of chase that they play without any help (and without actually tagging each other) and love it.  They are loving tagging each other too.  And I love to hear their laughter as they run in circles in my house.  There is no sweeter sound in the world than my two babies laughing together.  I hope we are able to capture it so I can listen to their joy for the rest of my life.  Jack is still playing with Mason from across the street and they really seem to be having fun together.  I am so glad that Jack has a buddy!  Jack is starting at Tiny Tots in another week.  He and Annabelle will go twice a week.  We are also starting music and soccer.  And, I am working on getting him in to music therapy as well.  He/we will be busy!  He finally had his three year well child check with our new pediatrician, Dr. Wheelock.  I love her!  He did well during the visit.  He is measuring about 50th percentile for height and weight.

Annabelle is also doing great!  She talks and talks and talks and drives me totally crazy!  She asks literally 100's of questions every day and does not stop just because the question is answered.  Today, my mom said something to her about being in a "stinky bus station".  There was at least 15 minutes of non-stop questions and comments about the "stinky bus station" and why it was stinky and what else was stinky and where the busses were going and on and on and on.  My mom apologized for bringing the topic up.  She loves her brother and has fun with him.  At her well child check, she was 95th percentile for height and weight.  She is super tall!  We got a referral for her for physical therapy and speech therapy.  Not that there are really concerns, but I think she could benefit emotionally from having someone just to work with her.  So, we will see how it goes...  She is also going to start school next week with Jack.  She is also going to go to The Little Yoga House one day a week - something special just for her.  She will be in music class and soccer as well.  Plus, the plan is for her to start violin lessons as well.  I am thinking that might not have been a good idea, but we will see.  Regardless, it will be a busy fall!

And me... I  have a couple real estate things happening, which is good, since we can always use the money.  We are still in a law suit with ECI.  They are offering $25K to settle, but we are hoping for more like $45K, so I do not think we will take it.  I am going to start writing home studies for Lutheran Social Services again, which is awesome, since we can always use the money.  I am hoping to take violin lessons with Annabelle, while the kids are at school.  And, I am also hoping to figure out a way to get some exercise in.  I really think I want to take tennis lessons.  We will see...  Jeremy and I are going to Raleigh next weekend to go to a football game and see his friends.  I am excited for a weekend away and to escape some of the heat.  It has been hot here!  I love the heat when I can sit in my pool and hang out.  But, with 2 kids, that doesn't happen much.  I am ready for all and am hoping a quick trip to North Carolina will get me in the right mindset.  I am also super excited to see our nephew, Bryce, while we are there.

And, I think that's a wrap!  Hopefully I can get back in the swing of writing more frequently, although I have said this before, so we will see....

A few random pics from the fall of 2013, since I don't seem to write much...

Annabelle on her first day of Yoga Peace School

Jack and Annabelle at the beach in Galveston

Jack and Annabelle on their first day of Tiny Tots

First day of Tiny Tots

Playing with daddy

Hanging in the tree

The beach in Galvestone

Tiny Tots with Meghan - Halloween festivities

Tinkerbell and Peterpan for Halloween!

Crazy Hat day at Tiny Tots

Blogs...

I have been reading way too many blogs.  I stumbled upon an "autism mom blog" and of course, she links to many more "autism mom blogs" and I just can't stop reading.  I definitely do not have time to be reading all of these blogs.  But what I really don't have is the emotional head space to be reading these blogs.  They are making me think!  Normally, I would say thinking is a good thing.  I would typically describe myself as a critical thinker and a fairly smart person who likes to use her brain.  But, since autism has entered my world, I really do not want to use my brain.  In fact, I wish I could find someone who could just tell me all the information I need to know it one short and concise paragraph and then make the magic happen.  Unfortunately, it does not work that way.  When Jack was diagnosed, I asked the doctor and the pediatrician and the BCBA, what the prognosis would be for him.  They all said he was too young to tell.  So, I decided then and there, if no one could tell me, then I would just go with the plan that he will be "just fine".  And, in my mind, the way I define "just fine", is that he will go to 1st grade, be in regular education, have friends, and do whatever it is that he enjoys.  Early on in our autism journey, actually before we even had a diagnosis, a friend suggested I contact an old acquaintance she had.  So, I did.  She has twin boys, who at the time were seniors in high school.  They had been diagnosed with autism at 3 years old and by 1st grade, were functioning just fine.  The day after we received the diagnosis, I called her.  I was having what I can only describe as a mental breakdown.  I was not in control of myself in a way that has never happened to me.  I was literally laying on the ground in the fetal position, sobbing.  She came over to my house.  I had never met her before and had barely spoken with her, but she was my angel that day.  She gave me her copy of "Let Me Hear Your Voice."  She gave me a bunch of cards that she had used with her boys.  And she told me her story.  She probably has no idea how much she impacted me and my thinking.  From that day on, I decided I would just do what she did and expect the same outcome.  Every now and then, we meet for lunch.  I tell her how Jack is doing.  She tells me how much better he is doing than her kids were at that age.  I feel better.  And I go on believing that Jack will be "just fine".  And, I still believe it.  He has made TREMENDOUS progress.  He is beginning to talk and will put 3 and sometimes even 4 words together.  We have finished OT because he seems able to regulate his sensory needs.  He is, according to Rebecca, in "intermediate" programming in the ABA program.  He and Mason, our friend across the street, have play dates twice a week and Jack and Mason held hands as the therapist and Jack walked Mason home after the last play date.  Jack played soccer and went to gymnastics and did as well, if not better, than most of the kids in the class.  He is going to be "just fine".  But, some of this "thinking" stuff has got me thinking.  And, I am not sure I even want to say it out loud (or write it out loud).  So, maybe I won't just quite yet.  I will keep thinking about it and rolling it around in my brain.  And maybe, I will call my "angel" and see what she thinks about all of these things I am reading.  I know what she will say - "Stop Reading".  And I will try, because I know I should not be reading.  Like I said, I do not have the time or energy to be reading other people's blogs on autism.  But, with her children, her journey is really done.  They are going into their sophomore year in college, at an out of state university, and are living on their own.  They have made friends and are happy and healthy.  Once I get to that place (still thinking Jack will get to that place), it may seem easier to say not to focus on anything and have confidence Jack will be fine.  And really, I do have confidence he will be "just fine" because there is just as much to say he will be, in fact possibly even more, than there is to say he will not be.  But, there is a tiny part of me that wonders if.  And, am I doing the right things?  Is there anything else I should be doing?  There is so much information out there, I cannot possibly read it all or know everything.  And, I do not know who to believe about the various contradictions.  But, I will meet my "angel" for lunch.  I will tell her how Jack is doing.  She will tell me he is doing so much better than her kids were at his age.  And, I will feel better.

Happy 3rd birthday!

Happy 3rd birthday to Jack and Annabelle!  I cannot believe it has been three years since you were born!  To celebrate your birthday, we had a Curious George birthday party at Jumpoline yesterday, the day before your birthday.  Some of your favorite people were there including Charlotte, Molly, Wesley, Holden, Lily, Clara, Nora, Mason, Matthew, Reagan, Anson, Madilyn, Reagan, Ever, Maebe, Phoenix, Pearl.  You also had lots of family - Granna, Gma, Gpa, Kaitlyn, Granjan, Grandpa, Uncle Josh, and Tiffany.  It was lots of fun!  Jack jumped the entire two hours with a very small break to eat a cupcake.  Annabelle jumped, but also played on some of the other toys and enjoyed hanging out and chatting with friends.  We had red cupcakes with banana runts and yellow cupcakes with red sugar sprinkles.  Jack and Annabelle had special cupcakes from Wildwood Bakery.  We also had bananas, since we were monkey themed.  Jack and Annabelle each had Curious shirts and Annabelle even wore a tutu made by Granjan.  It was pretty adorable!

Annabelle - this has been a fun year for you!  You are very curious and always wanting more and more and more information.  You have a vivid imagination and are always going on "trips" and "rocket ship rides".  It is amazing to hear the stories you create and I am so lucky to be a part of them.  You went to school at St. Paul Lutheran this year and Ms. Wuerchan was your teacher.  You enjoyed her and the school said you always did well.  We also did music with Heartsong and just recently began soccer and gymnastics.  We took several trips to the zoo and Sea World, both of which you always loved.  We went to North Carolina in April to visit Baby Bryce - it was a fun trip!  Currently, you love reading books and cooking in your kitchen.  You also enjoy drawing and painting.  You know your letters and numbers.  You have a great vocabulary.  You do a pretty good job of following directions.  You were potty trained right after your birthday last year and only wear a diaper at nap and night time.  Overall, you are a creative and spirited child and I can't wait to see what this year brings!

Jack - this has been a learning and working year for you, but just in the past couple of weeks, it seems like serious progress is happening.  You are typically in therapy 25 hours a week.  It makes me sad that you do not have much free time, but I am hoping it will pay off and in a few years, we can be done with all of this.  You are laid back and have a sense of humor, which is great!  You like to play with lots of different things, including cars, trains, and sensory boxes of rice and "dirt".  You are also in to painting and glitter glue and enjoy wagon rides.  You have been in music with Heartsong and seemed to enjoy it.  At least, you sing the songs all the time when we are home!  In general, you love music.  You have just started soccer and gymnastics and they are going well.  We have gone to the zoo and Sea World, neither of which impressed you.  You seem to like numbers and counting.  In the past couple of weeks, you have really started "talking".  I think it is real talking now, as you spontaneously put two words together almost all of the time.  YAHOO!!!  We started PROMPT speech therapy in February of this year and I think it has been a huge help.  I told your therapist, Marcus, that I wanted you talking by your birthday.  And, I think it has happened!  You are talking!  You are not on level yet, but I think it will happen!  Tonight, Daddy gave you an apple and you said "thank you".  I don't think anyone has even taught you that one - it almost made me cry.  I am SO excited!  Also, we have done potty training with you and started in the beginning of June.  You wear undies all day and wear a diaper for nap and night time.  Most of the time, even your nap diapers are dry.  The only problem is pooping, which you don't want to do in the potty yet.  As long as it happens in the diaper, it is fine.  It is not so fun when it is in your undies.  Regardless, you have made a ton of progress!  You have playdates twice a week as part of your therapy.  Right now, we are having Mason over twice a week.  It seems to be going well...  Overall, you are a chilled out kid.  I can't wait to see what this year brings!

Sea World for Father's Day

Jeremy was a great sport and said we could go to Sea World for Father's Day.  His mom is here and we all have season passes.  We are trying to get in as many trips as we can before the kiddos turn three and are no longer free...  We had a great day and it was not as crowded as I thought it would be and not even as hot as I thought it would be.  Jack was pretty upset when he realized we were not taking the stroller with us.  Last time, he did not want to get out of the stroller and you have to get out in order to see any of the shows.  This time, we just went without the stroller, so he did not have the choice to sit in it.  After his initial frustrations about the stroller, he did just fine.  He even peed in the potty a few times and we had 0 accidents - yay!

My favorite show is Azul with the divers and Beluga whales.  Annabelle loves to pretend to dance with Beluga whales at our house, so I think  it is one of her favorites too.  We also say a new Pet's Ahoy show which had dogs, cats, a pig, and other animals.  It was air conditioned, so that was a plus.  We tried to feed the dolphins, but they are no longer doing that program.  It was still really fun to be so close to them in their tank.  They were swimming in circles and jumping right in front of us.  Annabelle got splashed, which was super fun.

The kids had a blast at the splash pad, which is huge.  It took Jack a while to get used to it and he and I started with the baby splash pad.  But, after a while, he was running with Annabelle and Jeremy on the big one.  We also did more sesame street stuff this time then in the past.  We saw Elmo Rocks and at the end of the show, the kids get to go down front and dance. Annabelle and Granjan went down and Jack decided he wanted to go to.  It was great!  Afterwards, we took a picture with all of them and Jack became buddies with Elmo and "pet" him.  Annabelle was afraid at first, but later warmed up to them.  We got some cute pictures!

At the end of the day, Jack and Jeremy went back to the car.  While we waited for our pictures, Annabelle and I rode the Shamu Express, which was so fun.  Annabelle's first roller coaster ride - I think I need to document it for the baby book!

Overall, a great day with tired out kids!  Happy father's day Jeremy - the best father and husband I could ask for!

Potty Training

Well, I think we are almost there!  We started potty training with Jack last weekend, Saturday, June 1st.  He needs to be potty trained for his school in the fall and he just seemed ready.  Multiple times, he took off his diaper at nap - clearly a sign he was ready to be done with diapers.  One positive of autism (there are not many, so I like to highlight one if it ever occurs), the therapists did most of the potty training!  And, it was not fun.  Rebecca was here Saturday and Sunday, along with another therapist for each shift.  And then, the therapists continued to work on it during the week.  On Wednesday, I was starting to get nervous.  Jack did not really have many accidents, but he could hold his pee for a long time.  He was scared to pee on the potty and one time literally sat on the potty for 3 hours!  He would cry whenever he was on the potty and actually needed to pee because he was scared.  It was so sad for me to watch and listen to, but I knew we had to push through.  I was also worried he was going to spend the entire summer sitting on the potty.  But luckily, he must have sensed my concern, and on Thursday we turned a huge corner.  He figured out it is not that scary to pee on the potty.  In fact, he likes to watch himself do it and is very proud afterwards.  He also likes to flush and say "bye bye tee tee".  And since then, he sits on the potty and goes within a minute (much better than the 3 hour stand off).  He is not quite initiating that he needs to go, but he will say yes when asked and he will pee when he sits on the potty!  Yahoo!!!  We still need to work on pooping in the potty, but that will come and I am not too worried.  This is one of those things that takes a huge unconscious weight off my shoulders.  When he was initially diagnosed, one of my first questions was would he ever be potty trained?  I have worked with families with big kids who are still in diapers and that was really something I was hoping to avoid.  So, now that he is successfully peeing in the potty, I feel even more confident that he is going to be okay.  And the more confident I am that he will be okay, the more likely it is that I will be okay.